The Moslem
fasting month of Ramadan this year will soon come to an end. Ramadan will be
concluded with a festivity called Aidil Fitri (In my place we just call it Idul Fitri). In this modern age where man is full of guilt
complexes, perhaps the most forgotten or suppressed concept in their hearts or
minds is that implied in the word ‘forgiveness’. But Idul Fitri which in
Indonesia commonly called 'Lebaran'
is a perfect moment for Moslems to apply the word`s meaning to relatives and
friends.
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| Aidil Fitri Celebration in Indonesia Embassy |
In addition to saying Mohon Maaf Lahir
dan Batin, the traditional Arabic Muslim greeting for Idul Fitri
celebrations also commonly used in Indonesia is "Minal Aidin Wal Fa Idzin", which is expressed upon meeting
friends and family during the festive days.
During those festive days, traditional tasty foods are served as family
members, relatives, and friends gather to ask for forgiveness and exchange
greetings. Early in the morning on Lebaran day, mosques, open fields, parks,
and major streets are usually packed with hundreds or thousands of faithfuls
for the performance of Idul
Fitri prayers. What an amazing sight it is to see rows of
hundreds of Muslim women in their mukena (head-to-toe-prayer white gowns), and
men wearing sarong, traditional shirts and peci hats, performing Idul Fitri
morning prayers. Soon after the prayers, the faithfuls spontaneously come to
each other to exchange Idul Fitri greetings.
Even on the way to home from the mass prayers, We can meet our friends and
neighbors to ask for forgiveness.
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| My Cousins after sholat Ied |
One or two weeks, and even
a month after Lebaran, friends, colleagues, employees from a company, or
members of an organization, Muslims or non-Muslims alike, gather for Halal Bihalal to share food and drinks and ask each other for forgiveness. But sometimes there are people who say,
"I`ll never forgive him or her for that." "I have asked him to
forgive me and he has, but I don`t think I can forgive myself." "I`ll
forgive you but I won`t forget." "I`d like to forgive, but I don`t
feel forgiving," and many more statements as far as forgiveness is concerned. Each of us faces the need to
forgive or to be forgiven. Each of us has experienced unforgiveness as well.
I think without the ability to forgive, the ability to feel forgiven, and the ability to forget the trespass, people cannot grow in a relationship. Every relationship which is strong, healthy, and growing includes these three parts: The ability to forgive, to be forgiven, and to forget.
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I think without the ability to forgive, the ability to feel forgiven, and the ability to forget the trespass, people cannot grow in a relationship. Every relationship which is strong, healthy, and growing includes these three parts: The ability to forgive, to be forgiven, and to forget.
Forgiveness
is not an emotion, it is an act of the will. Before forgiveness can occur, we
must decide by an act of the will that we want to forgive. So the decision
comes first, the emotion comes later. We must demonstrate our forgiveness and show that the trespass is forgiven and
remember it no more. If we are willing to forgive but we wait for the other
person to ask for forgiveness first, it might not happen. Therefore we are to
take the initiative. We are not to wait for the other person to ask for
forgiveness. We have to do that first as the saying goes, Whatever you want
others to do for you, do it first for them.
We have to forgive again and again. That does not mean we stop forgiving after
Idul Fitri. We have to forgive others an unlimited number of times all the days
of our life, even in season or out of season. Since we are human, this may be
difficult but only by consistently calling on God to help us can we forgive others "Lahir
dan Batin," from the bottom or our heart and soul. Idul Fitri, perfect day for forgiveness.
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May you be guided by your unflinching faith in Allah & shine in His divine blessings - Micha
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